I’d like to really understand everything that led me to who I am today.

Growing Up 1.5

在沒有什麼歸屬感的環境底下長大
Trying my best but never being able to truly fit in
Choosing to fit in—or choosing to be an outsider
The fear of being left out
Anxiety
Loneliness
Not wanting to admit that I was shy
Low self-esteem
Caring too much about what people think of me
Getting paranoid about how people perceive me—or whether they’ve misunderstood me
My personality and its effect on language learning

The way I cope with my anxieties is by not thinking about things and not talking about things
Moving away from what makes me unhappy
Assimilating to survive—and eventually, to live a happier, fuller life
Home is where you feel like you belong

Being a bridge between two cultures
Being Taiwanese American in North Carolina vs. being Asian American in the Bay Area
Bilingual culture
Culture clash
Stereotypes
The pros of stereotypes
The cons of stereotypes
The constant denial of stereotypes
Sometimes denying the fact that I’m a polyglot because I don’t want to be seen as “fobby”
Fresh Off the Boat
“I’m not fobby!” Okay, fine. Maybe a little.

Too American to be in the Taiwanese Student Association, but too fobby to fit in among American-born-and-raised Asian Americans
Is it really better to make friends with other 1.5-generation immigrants?
Or do I actually find similarities in people who are different from me?
Making friends across cultural backgrounds
Learning things in a second language
What does it mean to be fluent?
Does fluent mean accent-free?
Self-consciousness about language

As soon as someone finds out that I speak another language, I get: “Your English is very good!”
Well, if it isn’t, how the hell did I survive middle school, high school, and college?
Didn’t I just tell you I’ve been living in the States for 10+ years?
What part of this seems to be confusing to you?
Being self-conscious about my accent
What counts as fluent?
Accent-free?
Being bilingual—and sometimes multilingual speaking a mixture of Mandarin and Taiwanese and English
Learning things in a second language(or a third language)
The connection between personality and language learning
How language affects the way people perceive you
How language affects the way you perceive yourself

Relationships with family and family values
Culture clash
Stereotypes and expectations
How cultural values shape relationships
Choosing a boyfriend:

“You think like an American instead of a first-generation immigrant or an international student! Perfect! That means we think alike. But you don’t like my kind of food. What a bummer…”

Having to emphasize that I “grew up” in North Carolina
“Where are you really from?”
“What’s your real name?”
Where is my hometown?
What does the word “hometown” even mean to a 1.5-generation immigrant?
Can’t I be from both places without having people classify me into just one of the two categories?
Being Taiwanese American in North Carolina vs. being Asian American in the Bay Area
Too Taiwanese in America, too American in Taiwan
Never feeling quite “enough” of either